Score: 0

"Worse than the Holocaust times 9/11"

submission: Madness Regent

date: September 27, 2008

Dear Thomas Fulp and/or Jose Ortiz,

You sir have committed a brutal rape and a vicious murder. The victim, the wonderful world of Madness. This game is just awful. From the hideous characters, the repetitive gameplay on the virtually insane controls to the fact that there's no story at all. Game summary: You start as a big ugly retard, and then you go fight a clown. Real exciting bub (PSYCH).

First of all, the character designs are ridiculous. It's just supposed to be little guys with crosses on their face to represent Krinkel's hate of the Catholic Church. And Hank is supposed to have been red eyes due to his frequent use of marijuana. It is clear that in all your thickheadness you chose to ditch such vital symbolism in favor of some of the ugliest, most unoriginal graphics I have ever seen in my life. A blind, severely autistic seven-year-old with broken arms and has been dead for three hours, equipped with nothing but a broken crayon and half a sheet of notebook paper could create something better.

Secondly, the controls are fucking retarded as shit as well. I could barely get past that little cannon thing in the beginning. In the actual series, the enemies go down with only a shot or two. In this disgusting alternate universe you've created with this, it takes an obscene amount of ammo just to take down one pleb! Mix in the inefficient amount of health you chose to give us, and you have one terrible, terrible game. I'm not sure if you intended to one up Madness Interactive with some sort of laughable audacity, but this stinking, rotting, piece of shit is no where near that caliber.

Finally, there's the issue of the actual plot to the game. Or should I say, the lack of a plot. To a stupid little fuckface like you, going on a random rampage sounds like a lot of fun. Well I've got news for you buddy, my brother died in the Vtech massacre, and rampages are no fucking joke you cunt. I find this endlessly offensive, and hope you suffer the same loss I have very soon. This game is absolute trash.

In conclusion, this is the single worst game it has ever been my displeasure to play. I hate you for created such an abomination and I would go so far as to say you have completely swayed my faith in the quality of flash in this entire website. You're scum. If society was a shoe that stepped in shit, you'd be under the shoe, under the shit, under the bit of dirt under the shit, you'd be that little layer of scum made up of people as horrible as you. I hope you die on Christmas morning in front of your children one day.

Love,
MadCow

Score: 0

"ur a bad man u rassist man"

submission: Wesley Snipes Goes 2 Jail

date: July 29, 2008

i wish i cud giv this a negitiv rating cus it wus very bad. i didnt like how u called wessley snipe a n*******. i thot u were a rassist for a wile but now this is 100% proof that u are no mattr wut u say now this proof is in the pudding. it wus offensive and i dun think u thot of all the blacks on this site. wessley is my fav acter and i hope he sees this and find u to beat u up 4 being such a cunt.opey and antheny are prime exsamples of why i hate whites. theyre ugly and ugly inside and are bad ppl like u 4 supporting them. brown pride worldwide. vote yes to cleanse ng of the white devil.

PS ne1 who says no is automatcially a rassit too cus they say no to a proud black mans review!

Score: 10

"anyone who doesnt like this..."

submission: Final Fight:the Nerd Saga

date: July 23, 2008

obviously is just a lameass egoraptor fanboy. twas great as usual rtil.

oh i mean UR JUST JELUS CUZ MOR PPL LEIK ALVINERTHWERM + EGORAPTER DIS SUX0RZ TEH PEN0R >=[[

Score: 10

"Unfathomably Pulchritudinous"

submission: Bonfire Elbow

date: September 21, 2008

Dear life,

How often in a day are you confronted by the fact that there's something more than just what's in front of your face? I find myself backed into a corner by this on the regular. My throat tightens up and my mind races to come up with an explanation that will make the pins and creeping static at the base of my brain away, but nothing ever comes to me.

I ride on public transportation. I like to tell myself it's for both the exercise and to help the environment, but I know it's the only feasible choice with my money managing skills. That's okay though. I get to see a million faces. Many times I'll see the same people get on and off the bus. The route I take downtown goes through what can't really be called a retirement home and can't be called a ward. It's both and neither because during the day these lingering souls disperse and work awful retail jobs. Greeting at Wal-Mart, bagging, slinging world weary smiles at screaming toddlers and collagen packed mid thirties mothers who don't bat an eye. Some of these old people get on the bus. Sometimes they stop coming. I don't think anyone else notices they're gone save for myself, and yet I can't help but notice the seats they once occupied remain vacant more often than others.

I used to play the flute. I don't anymore, but at one point I could. My fingers are stiff and I don't keep a tune so well now, and I'm mostly partial to quiet. Sometimes I dream that I'm on the bus with a true spectacle of a flute. Gilded, gorgeous minute etching even Durer would balk at and claim some divine work, it's pitch and ring was perfect. The bus is empty and it is dark outside. We are moving and there is no driver but this is normal and I feel fine about it. Dim lights flit by the window, as though the entire city had been drugged with some eyelid lowering narcotic, lulled into half sleep. The bus slows to a stop and the door opens and I am out front of the home, the ward, the slow spiraling descent towards an end with little dignity. Then the dream ends.

Sometimes I think I should bring a flute on the bus with me. Sometimes I just want to stop going. Mostly I just want to read a book and get to work without the repeating loop of garbled static that sounds like i could understand it if only the wind changed a tiny bit, or someone turned off a faucet in a room. I think I will know what to do when i finally hear that message. I know I will do it right out, as well. There can be no hesitation. It will be right, and I will know sleep then... I think right now I need someone to come cheer me up. If you live in my area and... If you wanna meet up and have a drink sometime, give me a call, big boy.

Love,
~B.I.G. MaDcOw [[i DoNt tAk3 pAycUtZ cUz Im Da Bo$s]]~

Score: 10

"fuck dem haters that reviewed before"

submission: Super Pang!

date: September 7, 2008

this is tha shite meng

Score: 9

"good"

submission: What's This? {Alix1}

date: July 21, 2008

normally dont really love piano tracks that much, but this was really good. seems like it would be more popular than it is. very fun melody