Dear Reader,

Due to extremely popular request, I am going to reprint some popular issues and volumes of my Musings column from the local paper. Enjoy these classics from the past!

Love,
The Prolific Muser Known as MadCow

FROM ISSUE #379

RE: Family Recip

Dear MC,

I could really go for a peanut butter and marshmellow sandwhich right now. I'm going to go make one if we have mashmellow spread. Do you have any way that I can make a really great one though?

Love,
DLT, Long Time Reader, First Time Writer!

Dear DLT,

It just so happens my family has a semi-secret Fluffernutter recipe. My mother used to make them for me everyday in my bagged lunch, despite the violent allergic reaction I have when I come in contact with peanuts! I believe the trick is to crush up some pretzels and sprinkle them on. Then add a dash of love on top! :-) Just kidding! Love is not a real ingredient, I'm speaking metaphorically!

Love, Mad MadCow's Musing's

P.S. Thanks a lot for writing in DLT, it really means a lot to me! And I'm sure it means a lot to the readers out there that'll be packing their kids a MadCow Fluffernutter tomorrow morning! I can show you how to make one in person if you'd like. Even if you think you can do it yourself, I think we should still hang out soon bro, it's been forever! If you wanna meet up and have a drink sometime, give me a call, big boy!

****That Fluffernutter recipe was really a big hit! I got tons of fanmail thanking me for sharing it. Here's one of my favorite letters that was ORIGINALLY PRINTED IN ISSUE #392 (me and this reader are actually now great friends in real life, solely because they wrote in!)****

Dear MotherMadCow,

Thanks for your detailed and ( :-) ) funny reply to DLT's letter from issue #379. I can easily relate to what you're talking about and it fills my heart that a fellow family person, such as yourself, gives home to a secret fluffernutter recipe just like my family (nothing really fills my heart[except blood]; I'm just speaking metaphorically like you!). The sandwhich I just made really "hit the spot" ;-). We're going to have to discuss this in person some time and maybe I'll even show you my secret recipe for good weather - L O L; just kidding! :-D. If you want to meet up and have a drink sometime, give me a call, big boy!

Love,
SummerTruck30@aol.com

RE: RE: It just so hap

Dear SummerTruck30@aol.com,

Thanks for the kind words! It really does my heart good to see that someone appreciates my musings and whatnot! :-) Would you believe it that just the other night, I had a bit of an argument with my son about the usefulness of this? I mean, first he tells me he's a n****rlover like it's all well and good and that he's going to "marry" that black "woman" and then he insults my illustrious newspaper career! Kids these days, am I right? :-P Anyways, with my stressful like, it really does mean a lot when you fans write in. As you may or may not know, I like to usually meet fans face to face to see if we can form a real relationship too. Some people aren't into it, but then once we have a couple appletini's and start discussing the poerty of H.P. Lovecraft (my personal fav (fav means favorite F.Y.I. (For Your Information))), we usually wind up becoming good friends! If you wanna meet up and have a drink sometime, give me a call, big boy!

Love, M.C. Hateship

P.S. Al Nigers Must Dye!

RE: RE: RE: It just...

Dear MotherMadCow,

Ha ha ha, kids these says and their crazy n****r loving! I remember a time not long ago when I could kill a few n****rs and no one would even blink twice - L O L! :-). Have you heard of Govenor Sarah Palin, and Senator John McCain? They both support small town values, so maybe we can finally get this nation back on track to what is right (Slaves [black (slaves) only] and God). Notice I put a capital "G" in God in my last sentence? More people need to respect the lord. I prayed every night that I would find a lovely person that shares my thoughts and guess what - L O L? :-) I found you! You share my love for H.P. Lovecraft just like I asked from Jesus Christ; my lord and saviour. Maybe someday we can meet up and I can show you a thing or two about "love craft"; ha ha ha. :-P. Speaking of which, I'll be clipping coupons tomorrow, but after that if you want to meet up and have a drink sometime, give me a call, big boy!

Love,
SummerTruck30@aol.com

And wouldn't you know it? Me and SummerTruck30 wound up meeting up and having some unprotected sexual intercourse that very night! We still remain good friends although I haven't seen them since that night.

EDIT FROM LAST VOLUME:

RE: I am anti-se

Dear Mrs. MadCow

If the sexy fat man gives the kids wine and lets them watch cartoons. I think he is a nice man. Stop saying mean things about the nice man or I will get up, pace around for 30 seconds, and sit back down.

Love,
A Ninny Mouse

RE: RE: I am anti-se

Dear A Ninny Mouse,

I completely understand! It seems my lazy editor overlooked that slip-up about your beloved fat man! Just so you know, despite his numerous apologies, I have fired him. MadCow's Musings is a serious newspaper editorial article, and this type of nonsense will not stand. I would love to make this up to you in person. I know how much it hurts to have your hero publicly humiliated like this. If you wanna meet up and have a drink some time, give me a call, big boy.

Love,
MamadCow

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SO FEEL FREE TO WRITE IN ANYTIME. I GET COLD AND LONELY IN THESE WINTER MONTHS AND YOUR LETTERS REALLY WARM MY SOUL :-)

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P.S. If you have the time, watch this video. I wish more Internet Comedians on this website would do more good wholesome Christian Humor like this in their little animated videos.

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